Mid-Life Shakes Up Your Snow Globe
Have you noticed that when people hit a certain age, changes seem to come in clusters?
Changing careers, moving, and changing a primary realtionship in the same year.
Kids moving out, buying a second home, and caring for sick parents simultaneously.
Losing a job, starting a business, and pursuing further education at the same time.
It doesn’t just seem that way - this is a very common pattern.
Sometimes one event triggers the others and the fall like dominos like the layoff that leads to a career pivot.
Other times it feels like getting dealt a particularly challenging hand in a game of poker.
Mid-life is Full of Transitions - Planned & Unexpected
Mid-life is a time ripe for changes like:
Children leaving the nest
Changes to primary relationships
Moving to a new location
Caring for aging parents
Health changes like menopause
Career shifts, expected or unexpected
Adult children moving back home
Welcoming new family members, like grandchildren
Losing a loved one
Why does this all converge in midlife? It’s a product of age, changing priorities, and interpersonal dynamics that happen between, say your 40th and 60th birthday.
Family dynamics shift as children grow up and parents get older. Age can also contribute to the onset of health issues or hormonal changes. Finances adjust as career tenures lengthen and there is a different set of needs like planning for retirement, managing healthcare costs and supporting family members. Career goals might evolve because of unexpected changes like a job loss or new opportunities.
All of these dynamics do converge in mid-life - for better or for worse!
Stacking Changes Leads to Uncertainty
Any of these events on its own can be life-altering. Going through a divorce, moving, and losing a loved one show up on the list of life’s most stressful events.
When you get hit with 2, 3, or more at the same time, it can feel like you turned the snow globe of your life upside down and shook it until all the white glittery pieces were swirling around, unsettled and in transition.
Typically, that snow globe feeling isn’t a good one. It triggers a stress response and can send us into survival mode. It gets harder to envision an ideal future when you’re facing a snowstorm every time you open the door of your mind to think about what might be next.
It’s no surprise that mid-life is often described as a time of ‘crisis’ when the stacking effect starts to feel overwhelming.
The Way Out is Through
There’s no getting around it - when your world gets rocked, it takes time to recalibrate.
First, protect time to keep doing the things that make you healthy and contribute to your energy.
If sleep is your thing, prioritize rest.
If you exercise, make time for a walk or a workout.
If creativity is your outlet, create a spot during your week for art, movement, or writing.
Need people-energy? Build that in.
Think of this as going back to basics. Give your body and mind the nourishment that you know works to give yourself the best chance of showing up well during the transition period.
Second, make the intangible into something tangible. You do this at work, so bring those same practices into your life problem-solving.
Define and write down the problem statements.
Research - find data if you have blind spots or unknowns.
Identify resources - both what you have and what you can easily access.
Map dependencies - if you’re facing multiple changes at once, find the overlaps.
Create a plan - give yourself a long-term view and work back from having the problem statement sorted out.
By taking a swirling fear like ‘I won’t be able to find a new job that pays as much as my old one’ and making it tangible by understanding your actual financial needs, creating a plan to network, and building a backup plan to offer your services on a fractional basis, you now have a real problem to work with. It is much easier to solve an on-paper problem than one creating fear and uncertainty in your mind.
Finding Support
Lastly, find the people who can help you along the journey. Chances are, you aren’t the first person to deal with your particular set of mid-life changes, so go find some people who know what you’re up against.
Look at who you already know and ask for advice about kids moving out or making a new start in your 50s.
If you don’t have people in your network, find a few online groups to join that might have people with similar experiences.
Ask friends or colleagues if they have any recommendations for who you could talk to.
Read books, find a podcast, or otherwise tap into stories from people walking a similar path.
Knowing you aren’t alone is half the battle. Loneliness during transition makes everything harder.
No matter how resilient or prepared you are, life has a way of shaking things up. The key is to face these challenges head-on. Sit with the uncertainty, acknowledge the weight of what's happening, create a plan, and find support from those who understand your journey.
Need help getting started on tackling your set of midlife changes? Check out our free Kickstart Your Rewire guide.